This, is what it means to live

The room is dark, but for the lights on the faces of the players,

on their hands as their fingers move
over the keys of the accordion,
the clarinet
the strings of the violin
the skin of the drum.

Their eyes are closed

as the notes lift, into
a tumble a line a swirl,

as the notes make stories,
vivid things I see with my own eyes shut.


I sit
hands folded in my lap
and see

a figure on a dock looking over wild water
the water slate-blue and wind-whipped
no boats or ships in sight

the music changes
and I see

a man struggling up a hill alone
through white-swirled snow that makes
his old cloak flap
he is a cloud, walking

the music changes
and I see

three girls spinning
skirts fanning out in circles
bright red, yellow, stripes of blue

the sight becomes sound becomes the music becomes one

And now my body moves
not consciously
not intentionally
not the toe-tapping, foot-stomping, body-shaking groove of me
rising to dance or doing a jig in my chair
but the here-and-not-here of me,

soul moving.

I've been taken
it seems
in this space,
through and to a dream;

my body follows the spirit it
hears
and I am not here
but floating.

I am in the note
the song

the beat
the drum.

I am in the mist outside
in the sea just below the hill
in the wet sky as it leans
down to kiss the grass.


This.

I see,
suddenly

know,
vividly and feel,

to the deep to the light to the bone,

this, this,
this!

Is what
it means (it must),
to live.

I'll be back…soon!

Oh, I have so much to say, I really do, but I don't know how to find the time to say it—do you think we could ask the Powers That Be for more time?

I sure hope you are all well out there…I hope your days have been a whole soup-pot full of goodness. I haven't been here in ages, but it's not for lack of wanting. I think I have written a blog-post in my head every single day.

In the meantime, we have been so well here, what with all the learning and the doing and the getting to places and being really very busy since the 'school' year started again, and the being happy.

We're walking on the beach (lots). We're cuddling cats (even more lots). We are writing and juggling and playing music and doing science and seeing friends and learning about Everything and Anything and writing some more (so many stories!) and eating scrumptious food (lots of it—these kids just keep on growing) and running workshops (at least I am—three writers workshops now!) and grabbing life and kissing it. I am even back to writing my novel. There. I said it. I am. It feels…beautiful.

And my girl was sick, but fell deeply asleep last night as I was sponging her fever away, and that was a gift. She slept for 9 hours straight after that. I kept reaching out in the bed and touching her skin with my hand to see how she was. Sometime in the night her fever broke, her skin was cool…and so I slept.

Life has been like that, this last month. I've stayed close by my kids. We have spent every second, it seems, together, and we keep our hands on each other all the time, to see how we are.

There's a lot of love going 'round in this house.

But not much blog writing!

While I've been away, lots of spammers have stopped by to say hello.

Here's a note from one of them:

Undeniably belіevе that which you said. Your favorite rеason seemed to be on the inteгnet the easiеst thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked ωhile people thinκ abоut worries that theу јust don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Isn't that a lovely note? Thank you, quick cash loans website!

There were other notes like this, but this one was my favourite.

I can't wait to post again here, a nice long blog post filled with photos. I can't wait to share lots of news. I can't wait to say hello.

I can't wait for the next moment and the next. I wonder what each one might bring…?